Everyone Needs a Car for Recreational Use Only

August 7th, 2013

car parked in forest

I have no idea what kind of bug it was.

If a cobra had wings, legs and a creepy bug mouth, that’s the bug that was trapped in my car. In fact, it’s probably still there. I’m too afraid to go check.

I spent the day yesterday rafting a river, my car parked at the take-out point and another parked at the put-in spot. Upon returning to my car after 5 hours of “fun” on the water (four kids under the age of 11 are the reason for the quotes), I realized I’d left a window down all day. Aside from the usual suspects of flies and other small, buzzing creatures that tend to infiltrate unguarded vehicles left in the wilderness, the cobra bug is the one that made me scream louder than a 5-year-old girl terrified by approaching rapids.

The bug had a pulsating abdomen that it kept twisting into an “S” shape, open jaws desperate to take bites of me, and long jointed legs that I swear could move in any direction at any moment. It perched on the inside of my A-pillar and taunted me with small flicks of its giant wings.

I was not happy.

While deflating and loading the mud-caked rafts into the car, I left the windows and doors open, hoping the alien-spawned insect would leave. It didn’t. I think it was under the impression my car was the mothership about to depart to its home planet.

I was exceptionally grateful I didn’t have the new car I’ve been considering. Dirty kids, all their stuff, open bottles of red Gatorade and rafts covered in river goo don’t exactly lend themselves to the pride of owning anything that requires a car payment. Add the giant bug threatening to spit venom into my eyes, and I wished I had a vehicle to use just as a rafting drop-off car, maybe something I could set fire to in case of future alien bug invasions.

Unfortunately, I only have my car, and I have to make it work. I’m one raft trip away, though, from hitting the used listings and looking for a cheap car to use for recreation only.

In the meantime I’ll just clean the river goo out of my car… just as soon as the alien bug either dies or catches its spaceship home.

Would you want a car to use only for recreation?

-tgriffith

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  1. dho
    | #1

    I bought a 2nd car about a year ago. I love to take it for cruises and car shows. Its a 1960 VW Beetle. Aside from an engine rebuild done in the past 10 years, its original, and really fun to drive. Its has its quirks and impractical features, but I like cramming it with friends and going for a little drive. It has never left me stranded and barely leaks any oil (all bugs seep a little oil when parked). I highly recommend recreational vehicles. But I also recommend cleaning the daily driver too. I usually clean any part of the interior that gets dirty asap. I wash my daily once or twice a year. I wash the beetle once a year, but I need to be careful with the water, my seals are starting to go.

  2. Randy
    | #2

    my toyota spyder fills the recreational roll. Sure can’t go to the grocery store (or any other store) since between the bonnet and the spaces behind the seats, the car can’t hold more than a few bottles of pop and a loaf of bread.
    Ironically, it can hold a swedish bikini model quite nicely in the passenger seat, in case any of you gals are looking for a sugar daddy.

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