Ready or Not, Here Comes the New Escalade

August 15th, 2013

2013 Cadillac Escalade

There will be chrome.

The Cadillac Escalade is a vehicle that shouldn’t exist. It goes against all current rationale of what a car should be. It’s big, heavy, extravagant and laden in what the kids today call “bling.” The Escalade is expensive and gets horrid fuel economy. People who buy a new one are telling the world that they don’t care about money, the environment or a little thing called subtlety.

The Escalade might be the most in-your-face mass-produced vehicle on the market today. Common sense would say that it shouldn’t exist any longer.

Since General Motors has never been one to succumb to the pressures of common sense, not only will the Escalade live on, it’ll be re-imagined and introduced all over again in October.

A new Escalade could take two very different directions:

  1. It’ll be more ostentatious than ever.
  2. It’ll be scaled back and tamed into a shell of what it once was.

Personally, I believe if the ‘Slade is going to continue, it might as well proudly continue exactly as it always has. Why change it into something it’s not? If people want restraint in their big utes, they can get a Tahoe or a Yukon.

Anything less than a new Escalade that’s not every bit as vulgar as the current one will result in a Cadillac that’s trying to be something it’s not. At that point GM might as well cancel the Escalade, because it will have died anyway.

None of us know what direction GM will take with the new Escalade, but I would place bets that we’ll get the scaled-down version. It won’t be based on a car platform or anything crazy like that, but it’s quite possible the next Escalade will be an Escalade in name only, and the genuine ones will be relegated to the used market.

Whether the new Escalade proudly fills its place in vehicle culture or cowers under the pressure to go smaller, one thing remains certain:

There will be chrome.

Should the Escalade get discontinued?

-tgriffith

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  1. August 19th, 2013 at 21:22 | #1

    Well, technically, the escalade has been one of the luxury SUVs out there. But, for me, personally, it can’t compete with the Land Rovers and jeeps in terms of performance. It’s just show off vehicle, like a limo! It doesn’t have much functionalities that other luxury suvs offer. Just my 2 cents :)

  2. August 19th, 2013 at 08:16 | #2

    I for one can’t wait to see how it turns out. As for the direction it will take, seeing that Cadillac is now going for a more subdued look (relatively speaking, of course), “it’ll be scaled back and tamed into a shell of what it once was.” More class, less tackiness.

  3. Randy
    August 19th, 2013 at 08:00 | #3

    No reason to discontinue the Escalade, but new buyers should have to pay a $10,000 gas guzzler penalty and a $50,000 bad taste fine.

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