Here’s Your 1,000 Horsepower Minivan
I found a $900 minivan for sale and I seriously thought for a moment that it would be a great idea to buy it.
I know, I know. What self-respecting car blogger buys a used minivan for $900 and then goes back to writing about Porsches?
Well, first of all I would have never offered more than $700 for the van. Secondly, cars for under a grand are probably a common occurrence for auto writers. We may spend our days lusting after 1,000-hp super machines, but we spend our nights lugging families around in cheap vans.
If only there was a 1,000-hp van to bridge the gap…
At the 2013 Specialty Equipment Market Association Show in Las Vegas last week, car customizer Bisimoto showed off its 2014 Honda Odyssey. Bisimoto is well known for customizing Porsches, so why turn its sights to the soccer-mom-mobile of the minivan world?
Because 1,000-hp even makes minivans awesome.
The van’s standard 3.5-liter V6 was re-imagined as a twin-turbo powerhouse with more than triple the original horsepower. A six-speed manual transmission was installed to replace the original automatic, in addition to a customized cabin and a low-riding, aggressive exterior.
All this brings us back to the why.
Obviously, it’s because minivan drivers secretly want to be cool too. I base this on the fact that the word “sport” is on so many vans that lack any real sport but are driven by people with what might be described as “aggressive driving habits.” These are the people who would buy a 1,000-hp van if they could.
Those people would also have a pretty huge torque-steer problem. Unless Bisimoto redirected any of those thousand ponies rearward, they are being funneled directly to the Odyssey’s front wheels.
The real point of SEMA, though, is marketing and not production practicality. Cars like this are meant to get the car name in the press, highlight the engineering skills of the tuning company and market the companies that supplied the parts. A SEMA car will never end up in the hands of a soccer mom.
That’s what the $900 vans are for.
Would a high performance minivan make you more likely to buy one?