I was at work on a winter day in 2002 when my wife called and said she was in the hospital. She had gone into labor and was ready to deliver our son.
I had waited for this day for 9 months. I’d wake up at night excited, my heart racing as I thought about the excitement this day would bring.
After all, this was one of the very few days I’d ever have in my life when I’d have a fool-proof, no-questions-asked free pass to speed as fast I could possibly go.
The arrival of my son was nice, too, but at the time I was driving a 1994 Ford Mustang GT. It was fast. I remember tearing out of downtown, weaving through traffic, beating stop lights, and keeping the pedal floored for as long as I could.
I was a little disappointed I didn’t work farther away from the hospital. I was also a little disappointed I didn’t catch the attention of the police. It was kind of like the day I turned 21, went to the liquor store, and didn’t get carded.
Could I have been doing this all along?
Probably not. But sometimes there are perfectly reasonable excuses for speeding, in addition to having a baby. They are:
- Having another baby
- You suspect your baby is sick
- Your spouse calls and wants to try to make a baby
- You’re pretty sure your Mustang’s V8 can out-accelerate the Honda next to you, mostly because it’s being driven by a teenager and sounds a lot like a weed-whacker
- You bought a Bugatti. As Autoblog says, you don’t accelerate in a Bugatti. You evaporate. That must be experienced.
There are also plenty of terrible excuses for speeding, including:
- Trying to catch up with traffic
- Being late for a job interview (you should have left earlier)
- There is a bee in your car, and you hope that if you drive 90 miles per hour, the bee won’t be able to go that fast, and it’ll be stuck in the back seat
- A sudden hankering for an enchilada
What are some other (good or bad) excuses to speed? Be safe this weekend!