The Best (and Worst) Excuses for Speeding

Speeding_excuses

I was at work on a winter day in 2002 when my wife called and said she was in the hospital. She had gone into labor and was ready to deliver our son.

I had waited for this day for 9 months. I’d wake up at night excited, my heart racing as I thought about the excitement this day would bring.

After all, this was one of the very few days I’d ever have in my life when I’d have a fool-proof, no-questions-asked free pass to speed as fast I could possibly go.

The arrival of my son was nice, too, but at the time I was driving a 1994 Ford Mustang GT. It was fast. I remember tearing out of downtown, weaving through traffic, beating stop lights, and keeping the pedal floored for as long as I could.

I was a little disappointed I didn’t work farther away from the hospital. I was also a little disappointed I didn’t catch the attention of the police. It was kind of like the day I turned 21, went to the liquor store, and didn’t get carded.

Could I have been doing this all along?

Probably not. But sometimes there are perfectly reasonable excuses for speeding, in addition to having a baby. They are:

  • Having another baby
  • You suspect your baby is sick
  • Your spouse calls and wants to try to make a baby
  • You’re pretty sure your Mustang’s V8 can out-accelerate the Honda next to you, mostly because it’s being driven by a teenager and sounds a lot like a weed-whacker
  • You bought a Bugatti. As Autoblog says, you don’t accelerate in a Bugatti. You evaporate. That must be experienced.

There are also plenty of terrible excuses for speeding, including:

  • Trying to catch up with traffic
  • Being late for a job interview (you should have left earlier)
  • There is a bee in your car, and you hope that if you drive 90 miles per hour, the bee won’t be able to go that fast, and it’ll be stuck in the back seat
  • A sudden hankering for an enchilada

What are some other (good or bad) excuses to speed? Be safe this weekend!

-tgriffith

2 Comments

  1. I thought it was a great excuse, but the Highway Patrol officer didn’t think so …. I was in the right lane with an 18-wheeler on my left, both of us going about 66 mph in a 65 zone. A 10-wheel dump truck loaded to the brim with building demolition rubble (I think) was entering the highway on the right at, well, 66 mph. A glance in my rearview showed a motorhome with a driver looking at something on his navigator’s lap. I made a split-second decision to downshift and give ’em all a taste-o’-turbo in my SAAB 9000CSE manual tranny and floored it to get ahead of all the congestion. That was my story, but the HP (coming the other directon) told me simply, “I had you going 88 in a 65.” I thought I was being cleverly safe, but I’m sure he had a quota to fill for the month, so … $125 later, I decided to back off in the future, especially when going around a relatively blind curve like the one that was ahead of us all. I COULD have made a run for it b/c the patrolman had to turn around and there was an exit (it became an expressway, i.e., at-grade access) with access to a friends house not 1/2 mile from the exit not far down the road, but . . . . I didn’t.
    sigh there goes my insurance rates.

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