How About Some Tuesday Morning Black Death?


There’s a lot of car news I really don’t care about lately.

Spy shots of a Dodge Journey R/T, a song and dance video about the Chevy Volt… come on, that stuff just doesn’t fire up the ol’ spark plugs. It’s mildly interesting, I suppose, but there’s no way I’m going to devote valuable blog space to second-rate GM marketing efforts, even if they are hilariously funny (and not on purpose).

So just as I thought nothing worth getting all fired up about was happening today, I struck gold in the form of Black Death.

Yup, leave it to the blokes at Top Gear to deliver something newsworthy. Or maybe just completely insane. I happen to think the fastest SUV in the world is worth a few inches of blog space, especially considering its top speed is 211 mph. The SUV in question is a Mercedes-Benz GLK, tuned and tweaked by the madmen at Brabus. Here’s what Top Gear says about the GLK’s speed:

That frankly disturbing pace comes courtesy of Merc’s V12, stroked from 5.5 to 6.3 litres and – thanks to the addition of a couple of turbos and plenty of other shiny stuff – putting out 740bhp and 995lb ft of torque. Those are dangerous numbers.

The Bi-Turbo GLK will nail the 0-62mph sprint in 4.2 seconds, which might sound (relatively) modest until you consider the sort of gearing required to get an SUV to 211mph. A better indicator of the sheer oomph on tap is that it’ll accelerate from standstill to 124mph in just over 12 seconds. Again, those are dangerous numbers.

Dangerous? Or pure awesome?

Any car that can haul like that and still have the ability to carry 5 people is pure genius in my book. That said, I can’t think of 4 other people I’d want to ride with me as I hit its 211-mph limit. One wrong twitch of the steering wheel, and the ultimate SUV quickly becomes a half-million dollar casket.

But that’s what makes a car like this so appealing… the ability to get your heart racing as quickly as it can stop it. Pure awesome.

Is the Brabus Bi-Turbo V12 GLK something you’d want in your garage? Is it complete genius or a complete waste?


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