Stealing Cars Through Text Message

2011 Subaru Outback

I miss the good ol’ days. Like back in 1998, when the economy was booming, we had a care-free president, the Dow Jones was about to cross the 10,000 mark for the first time and crooks broke into cars with crowbars and screwdrivers.

Things were good.

It was in 1998 that I had a Toyota Pickup stolen from a Seattle park ‘n’ ride. The thieves broke into the truck like any good thief would: by jamming a screwdriver into the keyhole and breaking the door open. It’s a quick, efficient way to bust into a car and lets any moron with the desire to break the law get in on the Grand Theft Auto action. (Which, for the record, is a terrible, no good, very bad way to make a living.)

Just 13 years later things are completely different. The economy is sagging, we have a quickly graying president, the Dow Jones is about to hit 10,000 (from the other side this time) and people can break into cars without the old-fashioned tools of the trade. Instead they can use a text message.

Man, I want 1998 back.

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