Of Hummers, Knights, and Red Bulls

knight-xv-2

When I saw our post on yesterday’s sale of Hummer to the Chinese, it was the photo in particular that gave rise to the following thoughts. One, the Chinese are welcome to it. Two, the car shown is a bad joke. Three, the size of the model’s legs indicates she needs a Hummer. Four, some people can never get enough of these cars.

Now comes a report on another, larger, more blood-curdling military-type vehicle called the Knight XV (above). Produced by a Canadian firm, this luxury armored vehicle, based on a Ford F-350, can “comfortably seat six professional basketball players.” Good to know, but what about the rest of the team? The thing is 19 feet long, weighs 5-1/2 tons, and makes the Hummer look, well, petite.

chinese-hummer-weddingThis fascination with military knock-off vehicles is not only an expression of macho, supremo-maleness. Two years ago, I was having dinner in an Italian restaurant in New York when six drunk, attractive young women emerged giggling from a private party, piled into a long Hummer limo, and sped off into the night. The Chinese seem to like doing weddings in Hummers, too.

For the company’s buyer, Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery, congratulations are certainly in order. The news was spread all over Chinese papers yesterday. No price tag was announced, and the deal should close in September. One of the papers, the Shenzhen Evening News shown below, also announced in an unrelated development that

shenzhen-evening-news1three batches of Red Bull drinks tested positive for cocaine in Hong Kong. The density of the dissolved chemical was 10 times greater than what was discovered earlier in Taiwan, but is still harmless, according to Hong Kong authorities. However, a second round of tests conducted yesterday in Hong Kong found no traces of cocaine in Red Bull, the government announced today.

If the Chinese build cars as well as they do drug testing, we’re all in trouble.

Which would you rather have: a Hummer, a Knight XV, or cocaine-laced Red Bull?

—jgoods

1 Comment

  1. I looked at their website and the KNIGHT XV is actually built on a Ford F550 platform chassis.

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