Hey, You’ll Never See a Hearse in NASCAR!


So my friend jgoods would rather ride in a hearse than a Mustang…

Read his post from yesterday, and you’ll see that I’m not making that up. He also wonders what’s so great about American muscle cars and claims they are not performance vehicles. I guess the Mustang GT’s zero-to-sixty in 4.9 seconds doesn’t count as “performance.”

Sure, a Mustang may not take corners like a 911, but it’s not supposed to. It’s supposed to be a raw, powerful, and imposing American car that sends the reverberation of the V8 up your spine as the rear wheels dig in when the accelerator pedal is floored.

It’s those looks and power that separate American muscle cars from the good-but-boring likes of the Fusion and Camry. Maybe if the Mustang or Challenger were on the NASCAR circuit, things would get interesting there again.

Oh, but wait, that’s probably going to happen! Ford and Chrysler are both submitting designs to NASCAR to run Mustang- and Challenger-bodied cars in the Nationwide series in 2010. Now all we need is Danica Patrick to sign on to NASCAR and drive that Mustang, and we’ve got ourselves a super helping of racing sexiness.

What’s so great about American muscle cars? Well jgoods, I guess if you don’t get it, you can just watch it all happen from your hearse.

Even though cars like the Mustang, Challenger, and Camaro are impractical, there will always be a place for them in America. Right?


1 Comment

  1. tgriffith had to be stoned when he wrote this. Or maybe I hit a nerve.

    First, I don’t dig NASCAR either. Too many cars on a small oval playing chicken is not my idea of racing. The Mustangs and Challengers will fit right in. So will Danica Patrick.

    Second, the hearse is the ideal vehicle for camping, concealed hauling, and tailgating. Try doing those things in your new Camaro.

    In fact, muscle cars are muscle-bound.“Raw, powerful, and imposing”? Maybe, but little else. I’ll be partying in my hearse while you guys are burning rubber and gas, trying to impress the chicks.

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