Let’s End the Epidemic of Valet Joyrides

2015 Chevrolet Corvette

I feel bad for valet drivers who have to sit behind the wheel of my car. Sure, it’s a nice Audi Q7, but a guest driver will find him or herself surrounded by scattered piles of unread mail, empty coconut-water cartons and various bits of food left over by two ravenous little girls who become a spinning mass of Tasmanian devils once strapped into their car seats.

My car isn’t a place where someone would want to spend a lot of time, and I assume valet drivers try to find the closest parking spot and exit as quickly as possible, hoping the next customer will own something a little more fun.

This week there’s a great example of a valet enjoying a new car in a completely inappropriate way.

This comes courtesy of the C7 Corvette Stingray’s valet mode, which was switched on by a California customer before handing over the keys.

It’s pretty obvious this young driver doesn’t keep up-to-date with car blogs, or he’d know the new Corvette could record his every move. There’s no audio, but we can assume we know what 50 miles per hour in a parking garage would sound like.

Can you blame the guy? He behaved himself up until the point of reaching an empty level of the garage, then stepped on the gas in what was surely a moment of impaired thinking caused by the mind-altering effects of testosterone and a fast car.

It’s no surprise that this happened, and I’d bet that it happens a lot more than we non-valet drivers would ever guess. Seriously, though, if you own a car that you don’t want other people driving, don’t valet park. We, as a culture, can’t continue handing our keys to people who can’t afford to buy supercars then complain when said supercars are driven quickly.

Want to stop the epidemic of valet joyrides? Take an extra five minutes and park yourself.

If you were a valet, would you take a joyride in a customer’s car?

-tgriffith

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