Why I Regret Buying a Porsche

About a year ago, I bought a Porsche.

I probably should have listened to my father-in-law, who has raced Porsches and owned roughly eleven 911s. This guy has experience and told me that I’d probably regret the purchase.

“Getting an older 911 is risky,” he said. “They are expensive to maintain and repair, and there will always be something that needs to be fixed. Don’t do it. Get a Miata or something instead.”

Well, me being the defiant, brand-driven, performance type didn’t care much for that advice. So I went out and bought a 2002 Porsche 996 911 Targa. Those low-slung Porsche looks, that Stuttgart logo, and the trademark purr of a Porsche engine were all it took to convince me to sign up for more than just a couple years of Porsche payments.

I should have listened to my father-in-law.

The first thing to happen was an airbag sensor, which quite literally came on while driving the car home for the first time. Five hundred dollars later, my local Porsche repair shop replaced the sensor and told me that ‘these things happen with these cars.’

Ouch.

I managed to go most of the summer without any major hiccups. The 911 performed as promised and provided spirited and stylish transportation, whether my wife and I went grocery shopping or on a weekend escape to the islands.

Then the battery died.

The car wouldn’t start after about two weeks in the garage, so I figured a simple jump-start would get me back on the road. I learned, however, that the release is electronic and wouldn’t function without battery power. I searched how to jumpstart my car and discovered a lengthy process in which a terminal must be deployed from the fuse panel.

First, though, the the key must be inserted into the door lock and be in the unlocked position. From there, a positive jumper cable must be attached to the fuse-box terminal while the negative cable is attached to the door latch striker. That in turn sets off the car alarm, which is turned off by turning the key in the door lock.

In theory, that’s when the hood and trunk release buttons will work, allowing access to jump-start the car in the traditional way.

As luck would have it, though, my door lock is broken and the car alarm doesn’t turn off when I attach the negative cable to the door striker.

Which means the release buttons don’t work.

Which means I can’t jumpstart my car.

And so the Porsche sits, in all of its shiny glory, in a dark garage as the last nice days of fall give way to winter. Unless I can figure this out, the only solution might be a tow back to the Porsche repair shop along with a blank check to replace the door lock, have it re-keyed, and install a new battery.

I should have listened to my father-in-law.

Have you ever made a car purchase that you ended up regretting?

-tgriffith

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